The Power in Shame

Ms. Sandra Zummo is a “columnist” for the Staten Island Advance newspaper. In a piece titled: “Shame on mom who shamed her daughter on Facebook,” she wrote the following.

“So, this is what passes for parenting in the 21st century:
Ohio mother Denise Abbott, sick of her 13-year-old mouthing off, gets back at the kid by going on Facebook and replacing the teen’s profile picture with one showing her with a red “X” over her mouth. The text below it indicates the girl doesn’t know how to keep her mouth shut, so she’s not allowed to go on Facebook or use her phone. In closing, it reads: “Please ask why, my mom says I have to answer everyone that asks.”
I’m really glad I grew up at a time when parents used discipline rather than humiliation to keep their kids in line. A time when a stern look, uncharacteristically raised voice and threat of “Wait ‘til your father gets home” from your mother was enough to set you back on the straight and narrow.
Now waiting ’til your father gets home might result in something along the lines of the widely-viewed tirade earlier this year by pistol-packing Papa Tommy Jordan, who in response to disrespectful comments his daughter posted on Facebook about having to do chores, went her one better, shooting up her laptop and posting a video of the execution on YouTube.”

And this is how I reply.

Ms. Zummo. I don’t know what planet you are living on; but it certainly isn’t this one!

Yes there was a time when a mere look or comment or threat would bring a wayward kid back to reality. But NOT now.
We have given them the upper hand. We have surrendered our authority to the mewling nanny state that now tells us how to raise our children.
If I’ve heard it once I heard it at least 100 times; a kid tells the parent that they don’t have to obey rules and there’s nothing the parent can do to make them!
Yes, I’ve heard kids threaten to call protective services if they are disciplined at all.
Physical punishment (spanking NOT beating) is against the law. It is considered to be “child abuse.” Threats, groundings, confinement to a room can, in todays climate of liberal thinking, can bring down the wrath of the nanny state on a well intentioned parent.
Our children are being told that their parents are superfluous, an unnecessary hold over from a far less “enlightened” time.
Today’s modern parent can apparently raise a child from birth to adulthood without EVER using the word “no.” Today’s children are so advanced that they can virtually raise themselves, with no adult guidance needed. Today’s kids DEMAND respect but don’t come close to understanding what it is or how it HAS to be earned.
Yes, I applaud Denise Abbott and Mr. Jordan and all the other parents you saw fit to criticize.
I applaud them for caring enough about their children to take a stand and act on the authority that comes to them as being a prudent parent.
I may think the methods are a bit out there; but they know their kids and what will work.
As far as shaming them is concerned, they should feel ashamed of their behavior. If it requires the parents to point that out strenuously then MORE POWER TO MOM AND DAD!!!

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2 thoughts on “The Power in Shame

  1. Pingback: Update for “Beating Up the Shame That Binds Us” Post | Lara: On the Weigh Down

  2. Pingback: How do you discipline your child? | Holistic me

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